Eye of the Storm

I’ve been listening to a lot of worship music.  There’s a song about God being with us in the eye of the storm, that He’s always in control. 

I’m told I need to get to the end of me, and hand it all over to Him.

That if I trust Him, and give it all up to Him He will guide me through this.

But what does that look like?  Is this what it looks like?  Is He next to me in bed right now as I type this wanting to cry, wanting to feel something but feeling numb?  Or have I not given it up to Him and that’s why I’m going through this.  

He never promised it (life) would be easy, in fact He promised trials and tribulations.  But how do I know if I’ve given it to Him?  I mean I tell Him to take it from me, to show me the way.   So doesn’t that mean I’ll be cured?  Like immediately- like the blind man in the Bible?  Or does that mean He’s here beside me as I walk this path of agony, despair, anxiety, anger and sadness?  

And if He’s beside me what is His plan? I know I am supposed to just trust that it’s all for my good, but it hurts so much. What will He use this pain for? 

I know, I know-the process of refining and sanctification leads to righteousness.  One day, one step, one breath at a time. 

But it’s so hard. Life is hard. My heart hurts. 

Advertisements

Author: thethingswehideinside

Im an almost 40 year old mom struggling through this life with two children, a husband, a houseful of animals. We all have mental or physical challenges that make daily life even harder, this is our journey.

1 thought on “Eye of the Storm”

  1. I wrote about this recently, when I was in the situation, and when there were no answers. People who don’t go through struggles, don’t understand what that’s like, what the mindset is. Faith is about pushing ourselves beyond what we know and feel in the moment. It’s about working on trusting God, even when we don’t have answers. It’s when we step out, raising our hands when we are afraid and saying, “This is in Your hands,” and working on letting go of our control over the things we want to keep. Which is scary. One way we know about our heart is if we feel any change. Sometimes bitterness and anger we hold onto while at the same time, asking God for healing. God wants us to give Him everything. Is it easy to give those things up, no. Will we struggle when it’s something we’ve been holding onto for years, yes, and we may slip up. But the practice behind it, is to make ourselves aware of our thoughts, and our actions. We have to show ourselves we have been given authority, and we can fight against negativity with the love of Christ. Reading scripture, and applying the scripture to ourselves and our life. Every little thing when we notice from God is the beginning. We ask Him to do things in our life, what are we truly giving Him in our life? Sometimes all we have to do is start giving Him more time, inviting Him more in our life. Sometimes it’s other things. Asking forgiveness from others, and forgiving others truly. For me, when I was depressed, I hadn’t realized I was truly ashamed of myself. Another time I struggled it took several months till I realized I was bitter, so I had to ask God for humility, and healing through it. Everyone is different. We all have our stories. Peace be with you.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s