Another sad day

I REALLY hate waking up and feeling sad for no apparent reason.  I mean yes- there’s crap going on in my life, but this sad isn’t situational it’s whole body sad.  Sad that permeates every single part of your being.  Even my hair feels sad.  What a ridiculous statement. How can hair feel sad? Hair doesn’t have feelings.  I feel like I’m made of lead.  My body doesn’t want to move from wherever I am at the moment. 
My mom made me laugh this morning though… in the past couple weeks I’ve asked her some probing, difficult questions, including but not limited to “did we really run away from dad once?”, “was I a tyrant as a child “and is it POSSIBLE that someone other than my dad who raised me is my dad?” I know grasping at straws here.  Today she texted me and asked me “Whats the question of the day thats been cluttering your mind?” I appreciate that she’s willing to entertain my thoughts and obsessions.  I’m seeing a side of her that I never have, and I appreciate it.But I’m still sad today. And everything is loud.  I just want to crawl back in bed and hide under the covers….

Author: thethingswehideinside

Im an almost 40 year old mom struggling through this life with two children, a husband, a houseful of animals. We all have mental or physical challenges that make daily life even harder, this is our journey.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s