How are you?

For months, years I answered this question with a lie such as “fine- you?” or “ok”.  But recently I decided if people care about me and want to ask I’m going to be honest.  But I’m not sure they REALLY do want the honest truth. 

I think the vast majority of people want to be lied to.  They don’t want to hear you’re hanging on to a small thread of sanity.  That you really need a life raft, probably because they don’t want to be that life raft- they have enough of their own problems.  So they placate you with platitudes “if you ever need anything…” 

Maybe I’m cynical tonight, I’ve been mulling over more memories from childhood. Trying to figure out a way to forgive as Christ would.  But how do I forgive what was done to me, and does forgive mean forget? Does it mean it holds no power over me anymore? 

It’s obvious I have a lot of work to do when I start with my counselor next week. But the question is, am I ready for all that work?

Author: thethingswehideinside

Im an almost 40 year old mom struggling through this life with two children, a husband, a houseful of animals. We all have mental or physical challenges that make daily life even harder, this is our journey.

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