I went outside today.

After getting up around 8:30, I had already had 2 naps by 1:00.  I decided we better eat lunch and hubby and I could take little one for a walk.  She needed to get some energy out and I needed to leave the house, the longer I stay in the less I want to leave.

It hasn’t been a horrible day, though it was school getting out time when we went for our walk there was a ton of foot and car traffic and I was feeling really closed in and got really anxious. But I made it.

I went to see my PCP yesterday.  Up to 224.5 woohoo, that’s a ton of weight in just 9 months time. So tired of being fat and ugly.  I didn’t even bother taking my shoes off for the weigh in I was like screw it I don’t even care.

I went in with a list of things I wanted him to help me with. Diabetes first on the list.  I don’t want to end up like my dad, he was 39, I will be 39 in just over a month. So he ran an A1C I am waiting on the results of that. Let’s hope I am not diabetic yet.  It’s inevitable, especially since I had gestational diabetes but I would like to hold it off a little while yet.

My hip has been a problem for over a year.  The MRI showed a tear in the labrum of my left hip but despite 2 doctors and a radiologist confirming it, the only doctor in that particular practice that fixes them said he doesn’t believe in MRIs and said to live with it… but if I still hurt in a year we can start over. PCP not impressed sending me to a specialist.

And finally I have constantly numb hands, I can’t type long, knit, sew, write or do any of the things I do to make myself feel better.  So he’s sending me to a neurologist.

I feel like he heard me, he listened, he saw past the fat to the person inside that’s in pain and hurting and he was compassionate. I needed that. I am so appreciative.

I think it’s time to go lay on the couch and nap before I have to make dinner. Until later….

Author: thethingswehideinside

Im an almost 40 year old mom struggling through this life with two children, a husband, a houseful of animals. We all have mental or physical challenges that make daily life even harder, this is our journey.

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