So I have to get it out….

Ok, I so I have been mulling this over for over 24 hours now and I am still pissed off that my counselor wouldn’t let me read my entire “paper” I wrote about happiness.  The counselor didn’t want the build up, or the conclusion she wanted to shortest succinct definition, and shortest succinct description of how I would know if I were happy possible.

But she didn’t say that when she assigned the homework.  She didn’t say just give me something short and sweet. If she had then I would have written it way different.  I feel like our visit is still unfulfilled. I wasn’t able to share all my thoughts with her, and everything I wrote.  And it makes me feel uncomfortable, and makes me feel like I need to call her on the phone and be like would you please just let me read it? I need you to hear it. I need you to know all the words I worked so hard on.  It was hard to bare my soul, to open up, and even though you felt a lot of it was avoidance of the question there is still value in what I have to say.

And if I don’t call her, I want to bring it with me again next week and beg her to let me read it to her. I am sure there is some therapeutic reason she was all “just the facts ma’am”  But I am not sure she understands the fact that I am obsessing over the fact that she wouldn’t let me share it all.

My husband said, “well the beginning of it was an awful lot of fluff”.  And I got a little irritated with him.  Yes, maybe it was, but if she doesn’t feel like everything I say to her is important than why should I completely open up to her.

If I still feel this way when I see her next week I am going to have to bring it up.  What would you do?

Author: thethingswehideinside

Im an almost 40 year old mom struggling through this life with two children, a husband, a houseful of animals. We all have mental or physical challenges that make daily life even harder, this is our journey.

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