What is it about harming myself that brings me so much pleasure?

I can honestly admit that in the past few months very things have brought me pleasure. Maybe a smile here and there, but not honest pleasure, but several times a day I look at my scratched up scabbed over arms, or the pictures here posted on my blog when they were first done and there is actual pleasure.  A sense of satisfaction.  I can’t voice this to my husband because he’s angry at me for doing it in the first place, but I just can’t stop thinking about it, why does my harm bring me pleasure and satisfaction?  Anyone out there have an answer for that?

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Author: thethingswehideinside

Im an almost 40 year old mom struggling through this life with two children, a husband, a houseful of animals. We all have mental or physical challenges that make daily life even harder, this is our journey.

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