I Went out 2 days in a row… I think I am dead…. someone take my pulse….

Yesterday was our homeschool co op.  I was grumpy because I didn’t want to go, it has been a rough week, I asked for someone to sub for me and no one stepped up.  I was a cactus as I described it because I have always stepped up to help when others needed it.  And the first time I ask- crickets.  But I put on my big girl panties, went, taught my 16 1st-5th graders about constellations and passed the teaching baton to a wonderfully kind hearted woman going through just as much as me, but she still volunteered to take the rest of the year on.   After co op I was fried. I always am.  4 hours of classes and 50+ kids would do that to anyone, but since my “breakdown” as I call it, it’s like hell on earth sometimes.  After co op the kids became Mr and Mrs Bickerson. I took a nap.  A hard nap.  So hard I didn’t even know my husband came home from work and I was sleeping in the living room on the couch and had to walk right by me. Ah well.  We ate dinner hot dogs and mac and cheese and headed with little one to see Beauty and the Beast. It was my 2nd time seeing it but her first.  She loved it, as did my hubby.  Big one was “too cool” to go see that with us.  Oh well. I only fell asleep once during the movie, which is a win for me.  Came home EXHAUSTED. Watched Grimm and fell asleep promptly.

Got up early this morning to go visit my mom.  She was boiling sap and the kids enjoy it, so even tho I felt like staying home we went.  Got there around 10:30 hung out while it boiled chatted, and the kids played in the snow and mud.  By 1pm when it was time to eat lunch I had already had enough. I was exhausted, and started to feel grouchy.  But the plan to was to leave at 5pm so being the good daughter I am I held out. But at 5pm I was in the car waiting for the rest of the family.  HURRY UP.  This was just too much for me.  Too much leaving the house, too much interacting with people. too much of life.

There were the annoyances too- I forgot gloves to big one to wear, so I had to give him mine, which means now they are contaminated and I can’t wear them till they are washed.  I forgot the pudding for the dessert we were making and my one job and I screwed that up so we had to go to Hannaford, and buy more. And the kids, you know Mr and Mrs Bickerson they didn’t stop all day either.  And now big one dumped an entire gallon of milk on the floor.

That’s it.  Im done for the day. Heading to my safe place AKA my bed, so I can relax and recharge and get ready to see more people tomorrow. When can I have a break?

Author: thethingswehideinside

Im an almost 40 year old mom struggling through this life with two children, a husband, a houseful of animals. We all have mental or physical challenges that make daily life even harder, this is our journey.

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