Tsk Tsk Tsk

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OCD here, as usual, my host has left out so many of my rules, rituals, obsessions and compulsions.  And that right there is why she is always being punished with self-harm. Contamination is definitely the biggest problem I have, but there are others, and even I am not perfect so I am sure I will forget some of my own rules and rituals, and there are often new ones added daily.

There are lots of things she failed to mention.  She didn’t mention that no one is allowed to touch her cup except her husband, anyone else – it’s contaminated and it gets washed. No one touches her hand towel upstairs.  I will concede to sharing the hand towel downstairs with her husband. No one can use her pillow or blanket that she has on the couch downstairs and she covers the couch with chairs so the animals will not touch her sheet that covers the couch.

Doorknobs and handrails forget it.  (The handrails even in her own house) 

She will only touch 1 of the 5 cats with her hands, the rest of them with her socked feet.  And one dog of 3 with her hands, and only the top of his head and his ears.   The rest of the dog and the other dogs socked or slippered feet. And after touching them her hands must be washed.

She must bring her “go bag” with her everywhere she goes.  In that bag is peppermint candies, cough drops, coloring book and markers (hers), her current knitting project that she hasn’t worked on in months because she has no attention span and her hands are too numb, as well as a back up knitting project.  She also must have 1 or 2 books that she is trying to read (but her mind can’t concentrate long enough to read more than a page or two at a time) all of her knitting needles, her knitting journal, all her kitting tools, her anti-bacterial hand wipes, her valium and a non-contaminated pen.

She also must bring her purse, in this she has just about everything but the kitchen sink I don’t think that I need to go into that much detail, but needless to say that people often comment about the heaviness of the bag.

She has a certain chair she has to sit in in the waiting room at the dr office, a certain chair in the doctor’s office, and in the counselor’s office.  She must use the restroom when she first gets there and when she leaves whether or not she has to go.  She has to check in with the same receptionist at each visit.

She has 3 cashiers at Walmart that are “safe” and she will walk up and down in front of the registers looking for one of them. Thankfully I haven’t had to find out what happens if one of them aren’t there.

I think she mentioned there are 4 levels of clothing to wear.

Her silverware may not touch the table- even at her own house.

She cannot go barefoot in her own house despite the fact they wash the floors weekly, socks always and preferably socks and slippers.

She cannot throw anything away unless she washes her hands after.

She is contaminated after cleaning cat boxes, rabbit cages, or emptying trash cans and therefore must shower. Doesn’t matter if she has already showered that day.

She counts a lot. Steps mostly, how many steps from here to there.

She always carries several bottles of hand sanitizer with her, and uses it frequently.

She uses antibacterial wipes on all library books- you never know who  has been touching them.

See I control her, and tomorrow, I will probably make a new rule for her.  So I better let her sleep.

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Author: thethingswehideinside

Im an almost 40 year old mom struggling through this life with two children, a husband, a houseful of animals. We all have mental or physical challenges that make daily life even harder, this is our journey.

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