The worst part of OCD for me is when something happens and I have to explain myself in front of people. Like today we were at a party and there is one sink, it took me 4 times washing my hands to get out of the bathroom without touching anything… and that’s only because someone who I am acquainted with helped me. I had to explain to her I have OCD and she seemed to “get it” and didn’t look at me like an alien.
After the encounter I went to talk to my “safe” friend about and she was with another person who knows I’m OCD But not to the extent. They tried helpful suggestions but the core issue is the obsession and compulsion that you just can’t ignore. No matter how much you want to just rationalize that just a small piece of knuckle touched the soap dispenser you should be fine you can’t OCD kicks rational’s butt and there you are washing for the 5th time.
I’m so exhausted. Being out on public wears me out more than any workout I ever did. And I was an workout machine there for a while- you’d never know it looking at me now…. my eyes are closing as I type this and I just want to sleep.
I have more to add maybe later…