Usually after the kids go to bed my mood lifts a little knowing I don’t have to be “on”. I feel more calm, the anxiety and stress is bubbling below the surface but I feel a little less edgy.
Tonight I am anxious. Tonight I am sad. So sad. And I don’t know how to shake it. I don’t know why I am sad, I just feel like a kid who has lost their favorite toy.
I know today was stressful, but the overwhelming sadness I feel tonite is disproportionate to the stress of the day.
I know I come here a lot and just let my feelings out and maybe no one care but I need to sort through them. I feel like no one understands how I feel. I feel so alone sometimes even though I am surrounded by people.
She sits alone
Her mind races
She is alone
With people surrounding her
People walk by her no one looks her way
She’s invisible because she wants to be.
She has packed on weight
She knows people think fat is contagious
A single tear runs down her cheek
Her pain is unbearable.