As I’m brushing my teeth I remember my physical therapist mentioning today “you shaved” meaning my legs.
I don’t know why that thought popped into my head now, and why I was able to laugh it off at the time but now that it popped into my head I was completely mortified.
Why does it bother me now but at the time it didn’t matter. I don’t know- but now I can’t stop thinking about it.
It’s weird how anxiety, depression and OCD works. And of course I have PTSD surrounding body hair.
I have polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) and that causes unwanted body hair that can be especially troublesome for a preteen/teenager.
There were several bullies in school who thrived on picking on my facial hair. And my father had plenty to say about it too. My husband says its unnoticeable- but I feel so self conscious about it I feel like everyone is staring at me. It’s hard not to when you remember the anguish you felt during those formative years. I lost so many tears to that one particular topic. (I was bullied for several reasons) but that was always the hardest.
I spend at least an hour a week on my cheeks, chin, and upper lip plucking each and every hair. Right now I need to pluck but it’s so much work, and takes so much motivation. And i just don’t have the gumption. Going to have to before Friday when I have to co op….