Circus Acts

Every year we take our children to the Shriners circus.  But this year was different for me I was dreading it completely dreading it. I wanted to send hubby and the kiddos and stay home and sleep – but it wouldn’t have been fair and besides we always go with my mom and stepdad so definitely not cool for me to skip. 

I put on my “I’m ok” face and off we went. I was bored. I couldn’t wait for it to be over.  But I knew my kids were having fun so I tried to act amused. 

It wasn’t until one of the last acts that I was moved.  It was one of those women on a rope act that typically I loathe.  The song was Celine Dion I’m Alive . As I watched her ascend and spin up near the ceiling of this venue I couldn’t help but think about how free she must feel.  Even with thousands of pairs of eyes looking at her up there spinning in her own little world. 

Now I’m sure she’s not actually feeling free during this act – one wrong move, one misplaced hand and she’s in big trouble.  But as the person watching her I imagined her free, just her, her rope/hoop and the music. 

I want to feel free. I feel so bogged down by life. So in bondage to my emotions, thoughts and feelings.  In that moment I wanted nothing more than to be her, spinning free in the air to a beautiful song. 

Author: thethingswehideinside

Im an almost 40 year old mom struggling through this life with two children, a husband, a houseful of animals. We all have mental or physical challenges that make daily life even harder, this is our journey.

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