Boy I can be a bitch. 

Yikes! What what a title right? I’m just it’s only about 1015 in the morning and I’ve already had my quota for the day.

Last night before bed I was having I don’t even know what to call them intrusive thoughts or intrusive pictures I don’t know when I closed my eyes I just kept seeing things that were scary to me and it was hard for me to fall asleep and I tried to get hubby to tell me a story in hopes that that would distract me but it didn’t. I finally fell asleep.

I’m also having this weird obsessive thought that there is a significance to today’s date that I missing like it somebody’s birthday or I don’t know I just feel like there’s a significance to today and I just can’t find it and it’s causing my OCD to not let methink about anything else
 I had early PT which meant I had to wake up extra early which irritated me PT hurt of course.

I got home and big one his worker and hubby were getting ready to go to his counseling appointment big one’s counseling appointment. Because apparently I am incapable of making a decision as to where in our town big one should be able to ride his bike and walk to because I am trying to keep him in a bubble and be overprotective. 

Well I am one that’s here all day, I know how much he lies, I understand his disabilities, and I think that it’s OK in some respects keep your kids in the bubble a little bit longer. But since the counselor and big one think that I am a little bit biased and incapable because of my mental illnesses, I said I would go our long with whatever hubby and the worker and the counselor and big one came up with.

 Today’s going to be a very long day were supposed to go to playgroup which will be fun for the kids and I’ll get to see my friends but then we have to go straight to play rehearsal for co-op because this is our crunch week we have our play coming up this weekend.

 I’m already in anger mode I have gotten angry because big one forgot his paper for counseling and I had to email it to the counselor even though I reminded him before he walked out the door. I got angry at little one because she was not listening and won’t come inside. I think I just need to go back to bed put my head under the covers and not come out until…forever.

Author: thethingswehideinside

Im an almost 40 year old mom struggling through this life with two children, a husband, a houseful of animals. We all have mental or physical challenges that make daily life even harder, this is our journey.

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