It’s late, I should be sleeping, I have to get up early for my chiropractor appointment and big ones worker is coming early. I took my Latuda over an hour ago and I still don’t feel sleepy.
I just feel so depressed tonight so sad I can’t stop thinking about my diet and how I eat crap all the time and while saying used to be crap goes in crap comes out and look at where I am now. I used to eat and only whole food diet I was thin in shape of course still not happy- but at least my clothes fit, I didn’t have issues with what to wear and I felt a little better about myself than I do now.
Thinking- ok obsessing – over this all night has made me want to hurt myself. I’m so gross to myself that I make myself sick. I already am depressed and hate myself and this consistent weight gain is making it worse and worse. I want to become a hermit- never leaving the house so no one has to see what I’ve become.
I know it all sounds dramatic but it’s midnight, I can’t sleep, and I’m sad. Life is dramatic.