17 years

I’ve been married to my high school sweetheart for 17 years today. I was 17 when we met, and we waited 5 years before we got married- Monday marks 22 years together.  

Our life has been full of ups and downs.  It’s been quite a ride to be honest.  Some of it I wouldn’t do again, some id love to, but knowing today what I know I would make the same choice all over again.  

We are lucky that we  have always been friends first so even when things in our marriage are hard, our friendship carries us through. 

He’s seen me at my best, and at my worst.  At my thinnest and my biggest.  At my happiest and in my deepest moments of despair.  And likewise me for him.  

When we said our vows to each other 17 years ago this morning we meant every word.  We may have been two young kids, 22/21, practically penniless, with big dreams and high hopes, but the unconditional love was there.  And now 17 years later we are two middle aged adults, 39/38, even more practically penniless, with many broken dreams and lost hopes, but the unconditional love is still there.  

We are working to make new dreams and new hopes, but for now we are licking our wounds and thanking God for giving us each other – because without each other there would be nothing. 

Maybe we used up all our luck/blessing/karma whatever you want to call it on the love we found and the two miracle children we have.  And if that’s the case, then we are still more blessed than most.

Today I feel, ok.  Not fantastic, not “happy”, but ok.  It’s hard not to be ok when you look at the blessing of a loving spouse that’s there for you no matter what, loves you no matter what, and would gladly lay his life down for you.  Sure depression, anxiety and sadness are bubbling below the surface, but today, today is a win for love.

Author: thethingswehideinside

Im an almost 40 year old mom struggling through this life with two children, a husband, a houseful of animals. We all have mental or physical challenges that make daily life even harder, this is our journey.

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