Itching and A Ruined Day

I’m STILL itching.  I never realized how much itching could drive a person crazy until I had all these phantom itches all over my entire body.  The doctor called back and apparently there’s a name for it, when you take these kinds of meds.  She called in another script for hydroxyzine – which helped me sleep before so hopefully it’ll control the itching and help me sleep.  If that happens I might have a somewhat positive day tomorrow.  She also scheduled me for an appointment for Thursday I love how she fits me in whenever I need to see her.

But today was not positive.  And it should have been.  It’s May 8th.  The day my husband and I celebrate between us even more than our wedding anniversary- the day we officially became a couple.  But today was ruined.  Hubby was in a grumpy mood all day long, he was tired, he was impatient, he was just off.  And I think some of it is a reaction to his new meds, but the majority of it is his mother.  She talked to him for over and hour this morning and she berated him, yelled at him, and just was not very nice to him.  This is a common occurrence.  She is not very nice to anyone but she loves to make sure he and I know that she disagrees with 99% of our life choices.  That our children’s issues are our fault.

But that set his day off into a tailspin.  He was just grumpy all day and when he is grumpy all day I can’t stand it. I take it personally, I feel like I should be able to fix it.  And then he is telling me all the things that he is worried about, which increases my anxiety,  I don’t want to know because it makes my anxiety increase through the roof because it’s all things I can’t do anything about.  But at the same time I want to be there for him when he needs to talk, I want to know what he’s thinking about because when he is quiet I get anxious worried that he is mad at me.

My children are fighting, and little one ran away from big one and big one’s worker, and she darted across the street.  We live on a fairly busy road and everyone is irritable, and the kids still arguing, I am not sitting and eating with them, forget that I don’t need that toxicity.

So what should have been a decent day today turned out to be a crappy.  The only good part of today was I got a short nap in. Tonight I am depressed and anxious.  It’s interesting how much the moods of those around me effect my own mood.

Author: thethingswehideinside

Im an almost 40 year old mom struggling through this life with two children, a husband, a houseful of animals. We all have mental or physical challenges that make daily life even harder, this is our journey.

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