I have to say I am not sure that the opening up of all the old wounds through this homework assignment has actually been beneficial to me I find that I have less and less interest in life than I did a couple days ago. A couple days ago I was thinking that my antidepressant might be working today I don’t give a crap about much of anything. I can’t even get thru a game of solitaire on my phone without losing interest. And I’ve been binge eating since I got up. Maybe at some point there will be a point to have made me open these wounds long since scotch taped together- but right now it just feels like old wounds opened up inside older wounds that have been opened while on top of current and recent past wounds, I feel like there’s no part of me that is wound free anymore.
I’ve lost physically too. I have fallen both up and down the stairs today. Hurting my hands, ankle and hip. I have no patience for my children or husband. It’s hard to believe that ripping tape off something that may have better stayed in the past or maybe not open that wound until some of the others had healed is therapeutic.
Im sure my counselor had no idea these ones were there maybe she had no clue where her assignment would lead, maybe I over thought it too much maybe it’s my own fault, maybe I ripped the scotch tape off but now it’s off and I can’t seem to tape it back up.