Tired of being depressed

I know.  Sometimes I’m a whiny freak.  Especially lately.  But lately I’ve just gotten to the point that I’m sick of this. I don’t know how much more I can take. 

I’m sick of being depressed. Sick of being sad/mad/angry/irritated/joyless.  I’m tired of intrusive unwanted thoughts creeping into my head. 

I’m tired of getting up to the same thing day after day not seeing any improvement.  

I’m sick of my financial life being at the will and mercy of the state. 

I’m sick of being anxious and all the symptoms that go along with that. 

I’m sick of all my rules routines rituals and behaviors from my OCD.

I want it all to end.  I want the pain, the sadness, the anger to be exchanged with happiness, joy and patience.  

I want to be the person I’ve always wanted to be, but have never had the chance.  Because long before “the breakdown”, I was wearing a mask, I was a facade, a shell.  I don’t even know who I am. But someday I’d like to find out. 

But will someday ever come?

Author: thethingswehideinside

Im an almost 40 year old mom struggling through this life with two children, a husband, a houseful of animals. We all have mental or physical challenges that make daily life even harder, this is our journey.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s