As I was bawling my eyes out during The Flash tonight I was thinking about how before we medicated my anxiety I didn’t really have any feelings, I didn’t get sad or cry at tv shows or movies, I didn’t cry or really even get sad when someone died. (And if I’m honest, I still don’t deal with death it’s like they just went away and I don’t see them anymore – like huh, haven’t seen grandma in a while- yes I’m totally messed up)… but now I get hysterical at tv shows, or I cry at dog tribute videos.
I was thinking as I was walking downstairs with the laundry that I felt like Data in the movie Generations when he asks Picard to deactivate him, he doesn’t want these emotions anymore. I found the video on YouTube and watched it – and yes I can 100% identify with him. I can picture Pollyanna telling me exactly what Picard told him. And unlike Data I’m not sure I possess Courage, I’m more the Cowardly Lion.
I’ve outed myself, I’m a Star Trek nut.