Do you ever…

Do you ever just want to say screw it all get in the car and just drive?  That’s how I feel right now. I want to get in the car turn up the music and just drive till I run out of gas. Of course my OCD and anxiety wouldn’t let that happen, I’d need to have every moment of the trip planned.  But the fact remains is that I’m exhausted from living today when I wasn’t at PT I was filling out paperwork.  Paperwork for mileage reimbursement paperwork for respite care paperwork for records releases.  And the thing is it took me all day it shouldn’t of taken me all day but it did. This is the first time since I got up this morning that I have been able to ice my ankle and my hip.

When I got up my daughter needed help cleaning her room we have been fighting with her all week and her ADD makes it difficult for her to be able to sort and figure out how to even start so I had to sit there and tell her every single item and want to do with it my OCD wanted me to just do it for her but unfortunately I cannot bend over for three months so I had to just sit therefor over two hours and tell her where to put everything.  

When that was finally done I want in my bedroom to get dressed and my husband reminded me that I had PT I said yes 11 he said it’s 1049. Cue major anxiety attack.  Cue not being able to find clothes.  Cue screaming at husband because he couldn’t find them either. Got to PT about 10 minutes late which didn’t seem to be a problem and she worked me hard.  I did a lot of good work and I’ve made a lot of progress so that’s good I’m really hoping to be rid of the crutches by next Wednesday.

After PT I came home and got the mail and started in with all the phone calls and paperwork work that I had to do

Then hubby made dinner for Little one and I had cocoa pebbles (yes I’m back on that)…. i HATE mealtime with a passion.  I hate the coaxing to eat one more bite, to use your fork, to use your napkin, to sit back up at the table.  I wanted to gauge my eyes out with my spoon. 

Today is an angry day I guess. 

Until next time…. 

Author: thethingswehideinside

Im an almost 40 year old mom struggling through this life with two children, a husband, a houseful of animals. We all have mental or physical challenges that make daily life even harder, this is our journey.

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