What a day already….

My morning started at 1:00 am having to pee. After navigating and entirely dark room on crutches as not to wake up the husband I got to the bathroom did my business and made my way back in and then proceeded to lay there for an hour and a half where sleep eluded me. I read some blogs, peruse Facebook to see if any of my eastern time zone friends were awake, they weren’t. I put my phone away, tried saying the alphabet backwards spelling things doing all the things that I do to try to get to sleep until finally at 2:30 AM I woke hubby up and told him my ankle was killing me. Dutifully he got up and got me an ice pack and helped me get comfortable, I felt like such a burden waking him up when I knew he needed to get up early for a doctors appointment. After about another half an hour I fell asleep.

Only to be woken at 8 AM by my husband letting me know that big one had woken up sick in the night at camp and was in the infirmary and he would pick him up on his way home from his doctors appointment. I called the camp to see how he was doing and predicted strep over the phone. Come to find out when he picked him up hubby found out that his bunk mate went home with strep yesterday. They are now at the pediatricians office. 

Not that money is everything but this camp cost $220 and I spent close to $200 in clothes for him to go with neither of us working this was a hardship but something that he desperately wanted to do. Now that he’s home he can go back after he’s been on antibiotics for 24 hours. However he doesn’t want to go back. He hates it, there was a disabled child who had a seizure that extremely upset my son probably because he knows he had seizures as a baby and he now knows what he went through I don’t know for sure… 

He was also part of the literature distribution group and they went into the not so savory part of the big cities nearby and he saw things that he’s not used to junk people people wielding baseball bats people open carrying. Hubby and I explained to him that many people he loves and respects open carry that there’s nothing wrong with that but that we can understand his fear going into an environment that’s uncomfortable. We are not going to force him to go back. It’s difficult to tell with him while he’s ready for and what he’s not ready for, he may be 14 on the outside, but on the inside he is not he is developmentally delayed due to his autism, and anxiety. His bipolar doesn’t really play apart I don’t think in that but I wouldn’t be surprised if it makes him cycle one way or another.

So After all of this I decide I need to clean out my email inbox I have five different email accounts and I went through and accidentally deleted over 30,000 emails some of them were emails I still needed blogs I hadn’t read yet things I still need to take care of as well as bills to be paid that are always in a special folder. Hopefully I’ll be able to remember all the bills that need to be paid the first of this month.

Still no word on hubby’s disability we’re just gonna have to keep waiting. I’m feeling quite overwhelmed today, and my houses a mess, and my rabbits have not been changed for well over a week I’m going to have to ask my husband to do it when he gets home because I can’t stand to smell them anymore.

I’ve bitten my nails down to the quick and bitten my cuticles to the blood I need to feel better, Mary Poppins that I could call her this week if I needed her and she would fit me in but all I can think of is what is she going to do, I’ve been seeing her for six months and according to her I’m worse so what was going in a week early do for me? Instead I’ll continue to count the sheet rock screws in the ceiling because I feel like doing nothing else. 


Until next time…

Author: thethingswehideinside

Im an almost 40 year old mom struggling through this life with two children, a husband, a houseful of animals. We all have mental or physical challenges that make daily life even harder, this is our journey.

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