Day 2- No nap FAIL. Back to day 1- Wait did I even make it to day 2? Plus an official ending.

First thing this morning I was already exhausted, I fell asleep not long after I took my valium I think that I figured out that avoidance isn’t the only reason that I sleep, I think the valium is causing me to be tired. But since Valium is the only med Mary Poppins has given me so far that’s done anything I am not stopping that anytime soon.

Mary Poppins nurse just got off the off the phone with me and we are going to try an anticonvulsant – Trileptal.  I sure hope I am not allergic to it the way Big One is.  But I really hope it makes me sleepy at night and makes me feel better too, since she says that it can augment the antidepressant.

Im sore today too, I think I have been up walking too much.  I need to lie back and ice my hip but I will fall asleep for sure- it’s been a little while since I took the valium and I can feel my eyelids getting heavy.

The elephant in the room though is that today is the day hubby officially moves out of his business– it’s done.  He says he’s ready but I think I’m not.  Not that I want him to go back to work- it’s that it’s another dead dream. He worked so hard to build it up and all the equipment, tools and his signs will come down and he will be officially done.  I am extremely grateful for all the people from church who are helping- many hands make light work, and with hubby back he couldn’t move it all himself anyway. I’ll be glad when today is over. Then the book is closed and we don’t have to think about it anymore. When I take my kids to karate I won’t have to see his signs, or his empty shop still filled with his stuff- right where he left it.

And to top it off my fingers are so numb I can’t even feel the keys I am hitting as I type this.  I can’t wait until my surgery for that. But that means more recovery.  But hopefully I will get back my feeling and be able to do the things I used to love to.

My eyelids need toothpicks.  Im going to close them a few minutes…

Until next time….

Author: thethingswehideinside

Im an almost 40 year old mom struggling through this life with two children, a husband, a houseful of animals. We all have mental or physical challenges that make daily life even harder, this is our journey.

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