I woke up feeling “blah” this morning. Sort of on the sad side. How can you wake up to a new day full of fresh possibilities already feeling like you want to go back to bed.
I was sitting here at the table thinking maybe i just got up on the “wrong” side of the bed. But it’s not that- it’s deeper. It’s the depression. I still have a hard time owning my depression. But it feels like the chains Marley carried. I feel like if I went into the water I would sink to the bottom.
I dont remember if I mentioned that I’m waiting to get into an endocrinologist because my thyroid hormones are off, I’m hoping if we can get that under control the antidepressants will work, because something has to pull me out of this before I drown.
We didn’t go to church today, and I feel incredibly guilty I just couldn’t get out of bed I was so wearily tired. And I packed my stuff to go last night but I just couldn’t get out of bed this morning. So as I type this I’m listening to worship music and trying to pray for some relief.
Until next time