I don’t think I mentioned…. or it just goes to show how pathetic I am.

Not too long after my father told me that he was done with me, that he wouldn’t talk to me anymore, after he rejected me once again, he started calling again.

He’s been calling several times day, and surprisingly been pretty pleasant which usually leads up to unpleasantness…. but here’s what really bothers me about this story…

He has NOT called my sister. He won’t.  But he calls me because he knows I am so desperate to be loved I will take whatever anyone will give me, any scrap, no matter how unhealthy or not good for me. He knows, no matter what horror he has done I will take him back with open arms.

I am so pathetic.

And now, every time my text message dings I get a sick feeling in my stomach, worried it’s that family member again with more to say.  He has now added to my PTSD. Thanks so much.

Author: thethingswehideinside

Im an almost 40 year old mom struggling through this life with two children, a husband, a houseful of animals. We all have mental or physical challenges that make daily life even harder, this is our journey.

10 thoughts on “I don’t think I mentioned…. or it just goes to show how pathetic I am.”

  1. hey there, i dont know you personally, but that doesnt make you pathetic, hes your father so youre obviously going to always love him and want to welcome him with open arms, its his fault for messing with your heart in the way that it seems like he has. dont blame yourself, youre loved and theres light at the end of the tunnel i promise. you deserve the best. xx

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I can’t agree enough with Definingyellow. You are NOT pathetic. It’s only natural to want a relationship with your father. That doesn’t make you pathetic. Hold on to hope and do what you need to do for yourself to grow and be healthy and happy. Blessings

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You are not pathetic. Thankyou for sharing your thoughts with the world, it can be difficult to come to terms with some of the harsh realities of life but by doing so, you’re winning.

    Liked by 1 person

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