I hide my feelings, my thoughts, my secrets.

You got me to open up, with the promise of a father. 

I trusted you, I shared my deepest hurts.

I thought I had finally found a dad. 

But then you betrayed me. You blindsided me.

It happens over and over I put my trust in someone and they show their true colors.

Even if what you did had the best intentions, or was done out of love – you couldn’t have hurt me more. You could have slapped me and it would’ve hurt less. 

I will forgive you as Jesus has commanded, but I will never trust you, you will never be the “dad” I thought I had. 

Stepfather, mother’s husband- no more, no less. 

My heart and head say run – I already have a father who hurts me, but my kids love you – even if you think I’ve ruined them. 

*I haven’t written a poem in over 20 years.  I know there’s no real rhythm and it doesn’t rhyme but it captures my feelings right now.* 

Author: thethingswehideinside

Im an almost 40 year old mom struggling through this life with two children, a husband, a houseful of animals. We all have mental or physical challenges that make daily life even harder, this is our journey.

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