I hide my feelings, my thoughts, my secrets.
You got me to open up, with the promise of a father.
I trusted you, I shared my deepest hurts.
I thought I had finally found a dad.
But then you betrayed me. You blindsided me.
It happens over and over I put my trust in someone and they show their true colors.
Even if what you did had the best intentions, or was done out of love – you couldn’t have hurt me more. You could have slapped me and it would’ve hurt less.
I will forgive you as Jesus has commanded, but I will never trust you, you will never be the “dad” I thought I had.
Stepfather, mother’s husband- no more, no less.
My heart and head say run – I already have a father who hurts me, but my kids love you – even if you think I’ve ruined them.
*I haven’t written a poem in over 20 years. I know there’s no real rhythm and it doesn’t rhyme but it captures my feelings right now.*