What a LONG day

So little one’s behavior behaved enough to earn Sweet Frog after her eye appointment, but man was it a long day!

It started early with a condensed PT appointment for me at 9am, and boy did she work me hard.  I came home and we started getting ready to head south to littles one’s appointment since we were going to go to the park first and wear her out.

When we got there she was gung ho to play but quickly I noticed her walking the perimeter of the play area alone.  But she wouldn’t tell me what was wrong.  She still hasn’t, I am assuming that someone said “no” to playing with her, she is sensitive about that, like me. It’s yet another reason I am glad she isn’t in public school, I was too sensitive for the politics of school, and she would be too.  As a homeschooled child I can help by controlling the people she encounters “most of the time” and then when we go to the park, swim lessons, and martial arts classes she is exposed to the public.

So we hung out at the park for a while, finally she found a little girl to play with.  Even with her brother trying to play with her she was still “meh” so I think whatever happened really bothered her. Which reminds me I want to speak to her again to see if she will finally open up.

After a while it was time to head to her appointment.  I reminded her what the appointment would probably be like, and what she would be asked to do.  She acted like the little teenager she is (she’s 6 almost 7 you know 😉 ) We got there, checked in and she was quickly called back.  She didn’t want her dad or I to go with her… WHAAAT? My 14 year old still wants me in there.  I had to go in for the first part for family and personal history but then she made me leave.

I waited and waited. My stomach in knots, anxiety leaking from every pore. What was going on in there?  What were they doing? Was she behaving? Was the exam going well?It seemed like we were there for HOURS, when in reality it was only 20 minutes or so.

The doctor came out and took me to another room to explain his findings.  Cue increase of anxiety because there were “findings”.  She can see 20/25 which they will monitor but apparently it’s pretty normal for someone her age.  However, she has convergence insufficiency. The best way I can explain it is that to focus we have to pull our eyes in, when she does that her eyes want to pull back out. Which makes reading difficult at best.

For so long, I have been questioning my ability to teach her, we have tried a million and one reading programs, but still she struggles with recognition of letters, reversals of letters, and struggling with letter sounds.  However, it’s not my fault.  Her eyes are to blame. And had she been in public school. and had I not requested an OT eval from her doctor this wouldn’t have ever been found.

I feel some vindication, especially after the text from the family member saying I am depriving her of a normal life not sending her to public school. She would be a behavior problem student in title 1, or special education.  When in reality it’s her eyes that don’t work. Homeschool isn’t for everyone, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am doing what’s best for MY kids.

For more info on convergence insufficiency see http://www.convergenceinsufficiency.org.

Until next time.

Author: thethingswehideinside

Im an almost 40 year old mom struggling through this life with two children, a husband, a houseful of animals. We all have mental or physical challenges that make daily life even harder, this is our journey.

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