And the hits just keep coming…

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After a particularly tough session with PollyAnna I was headed to the pharmacy to pick up Big One’s prescription, and I broke my cardinal rule of driving ALWAYS check twice.  I thought the truck headed towards me had his blinker on, so I pulled out to turn left but nope, no blinker and I t-boned a poor old man.  He was crying, and so upset. We were lucky a state trooper was behind me so he helped divert traffic.

I haven’t processed the accident I don’t think.  I haven’t had any feelings about it, I mean I felt bad for the old man, and I was feeling sorry for myself, but I didn’t cry, I didn’t get anxious, I just was numb.  I still am, other than feelings sorry for myself, because nothing seems to be working out for us lately.

The way I explained it to my husband the other day is this:

I feel like I run from fire to fire putting them out all the while I’m burning and the running gives my own fire oxygen to burn more. It’s like on a plane put your mask on then help other my mask is missing and I’m running around burning to death.

I know that I am having a pity party because things just keep coming and coming and coming at us, and I just don’t know when it’s going to stop….

But tonight on the radio (I listen to contemporary Christian radio) they reminded us to pray for Houston. And it reminded me where I COULD be, there by the grace of God.

Author: thethingswehideinside

Im an almost 40 year old mom struggling through this life with two children, a husband, a houseful of animals. We all have mental or physical challenges that make daily life even harder, this is our journey.

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