Its been a couple days, and today I met with the kids med management doctor -let’s call her Julie Andrews. We started with big one, not much to say. Things are about the same, we cut out his anti-anxiety medication since it wasn’t working and he was feeling manic but controllable.
But then it was little one’s turn. She saw her behavior- running all over the place, hyperactive, and defiant. So she and I decided what meds to put her on, and then talked about the school thing. And she talked me into it. I feel somewhat coerced, somewhat forced, but I just can’t let it go. I don’t want to leave my baby at school. I can’t imagine it.
I am worried she will end up like me, she’s so tender hearted- people will probably take advantage of her. But as my counselor said that I am only looking at the bad “what-if” situations. What-if it goes well?
There’s no room in my head for that scenario. All the bad ones are swirling around in there, my brain is full, my head hurts, it pounds from crying so much, my eyes burn, and I have a stomach ache.
She starts school Monday. Tomorrow I will go down with her, turn in the paperwork, and I will see if they let her see where the classroom is, where things are. It might make me feel better. She’s excited to go, I wish I could say the same thing.