I was looking on Amazon and tonight or I guess since it’s 2 AM this morning, at planners. I have two planners downstairs for 2018 and I just can’t bring myself to use either of them I don’t like either of them. I like my 2017 planner it had coloring pages, it was spiral-bound, I just liked it.
Then I decided I was going to do bullet journaling. I bought a bullet journal, I’ve watched a ton of YouTube videos have a very large Pinterest board dedicated to bullet journaling, but as the new year grew closer I realized I would never keep up with it, it’s just too much work.
Hence my search tonight on Amazon. And I came across a planner that had “Best Year Ever” on the cover. I stared at it for a long time and just couldn’t wrap my head around it… best year ever? There’s no way. Will it beat 2017? I sure as heck hope so, but best year ever? What about the year I met my husband? Or the year my son was born, or the year my daughter was born?
Why would I buy that? Some people might think it’s thinking positively- but I think it’s setting unrealistic expectations of the coming year that can only serve as another avenue of disappointment.
My goals for 2018 are simple-
1. Make it till 2019
2. Read 52 books
3. Do my quiet time at least 300 times. When I am closer to Jesus, and reading His word, I am a better me.
Well I guess that’s all. This will likely be the last post of 2017, and all I can say as 2017 closes is – “don’t let the door hit you on the way out. ” Let’s hope 2018 is at least marginally better. But if I’m being totally honest I don’t hold a lot of hope- I turn 40 this year. I’m dreading it. My birthdays always suck, I’m the biggest I’ve ever been, there is always drama with my father, and my kids are growing up. 2018 brings 15 and 8. I don’t have babies anymore. I’ll never have babies anymore. That part of my life is over- and I’m not ready.
But when I think of 3am feedings, sleepless nights and colic- I remember the bad parts of babyhood… besides I’ve had a hysterectomy- so it’s not in my future. I need to find a life. But I guess I need to figure out my identity first…. I e got a lot of work to do.