Feeling Nostalgic

Today on the way home from church hubby was talking about a complement he received from someone who used to be a customer at his business. It made me sad, thinking about all the things that have been taken away from him because of his illness. Running 5Ks, Martial Arts, our Home, our car, his successful business, his ability to keep up with everything around the house- the maintenance of the house and the cars. He does his best to convince me he isn’t affected but I feel it for him.

But the one thing we can count on in sickness and health, poorer and poorer ( 😉 ), is each other. As I edge closer to my 40th birthday in a couple months I am thinking more and more about my life past, present and future.

Tonight I am grateful for my husband. Whether he is healthy or sick, if we are broke or have a little extra cash, nothing changes – our love. Well- that’s not true the longer we are together the more I love him. I’ve been having the Amazon Echo play songs from when we were first together.

We were two kids, fighting against the world together- the doubters and scoffers, convinced that two teenagers would end up together. But we are coming up on 22 years together. That means I have been with him more than half my life. He has always supported me, in anything I do. Tonight at dinner I looked up at a frame we have on a table by the door and I saw this

For those of you unable to read his hen scratch ( 😉) it says I love you because- and he added you give all that you have to us. I wanted to cry. I looked at him and said – lately I haven’t had much to give, and he said “but you give what you have, that’s what makes it so special”.

He may not make grand gestures in front of the world showing how much he loves me- but I don’t need that- What matters is what he does here at home.

This past year has been hell. Or at least what I imagine hell would be like, but through it all we have held on to each other and to God and we are still here. We aren’t to the summit of this mountain we are facing, but it’s nice to know I have a partner who won’t let me fall.

And yet through the hell off this past year I had my biggest prayer answered. He came to Christ. He was born again and baptized. Despite attack after attack from the enemy, he has stood strong in that faith.

If all this was what we had to face for him to find his relationship with Jesus, then it’s all worth it.

Author: thethingswehideinside

Im an almost 40 year old mom struggling through this life with two children, a husband, a houseful of animals. We all have mental or physical challenges that make daily life even harder, this is our journey.

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