I want what she has…

My daughter went into first grade in public school this year. I have homeschooled for the past five years. She did first grade at home last year but I just couldn’t teach her to read, or write her letters and numbers.

As it turned out she had an issue with her eyes that needed therapy weekly. She entered first grade without ANY sight words. She struggled writing letters correctly (she still does but it’s so much better). In January with interventions she made it to level 4/5. When they leave first grade they want them to be level 16-20. It was pretty clear my daughter would need summer school. Each week she inched along. About a month or so ago she was at a level 12. Which is AMAZING progress, but they were still recommending summer school.

I got an email from her teacher the other day, her final assessment put her at a level 16, 98% fluency and instructional level comprehension.

I could learn a lot from this soon to be 8 year old. She went from the bottom of the ladder in reading, so to speak, and with hard work and determination she got herself to the top.

She is one of the kindest friendliest child in the first grade. She helps her classmates with the subjects she’s strong in. She’s something special that’s for sure.

And she doesn’t give up. She’s strong. She must have a belief in herself to go from where she was to where she is.

I would be remiss to not also recognize the teacher and reading recovery teacher she had. They were AMAZING and both will be missed terribly. But without an inner drive, an inner strength, even with all the help in the world she wouldn’t have gone as far as she did. No one, not me, not her father, not her teachers expected her to catch up to the other students in a school year. She had eye issues, she was basically starting from scratch. But she surprised us all.

I want to be her when I grow up. I want to be the person who can be last in the race, keep on trucking and finish with everyone else.

She is my hero.

Time Spent Apart

Many couples I know like to vacation apart, or take some time with couple days, or weekend apart- but I can honestly say with every fiber of my being that being away from my husband is like not having half of myself. He is my heart and my soul. I haven’t seen him since Friday evening and it seems like an eternity.

For 22 years and 139 days we have spent every minute we possibly could with each other. I was 17 years old when I met him, he was only 16. Our friends and family said it would never last, young love isn’t real, that we were too young to know what we wanted, that we spent too much time together. From the day I met him I knew that there was nobody else for me. He has always made me feel like I’m the only woman in the world. It didn’t matter what I looked like, what I was wearing, or the state of my mental health he loves me no matter what. No matter what.

All I ever wanted is the child was to be loved, to be good enough, to be smart enough, to be pretty enough, so that I would fit the mold my family wanted. But when he walked into my life he broke the mold and told me without words than I am my own mold and he loves that mold.

And even though I have been struggling with my own mental health and demons from my past he still loves me, despite his own physical struggles he has stepped up – he does all the cooking he helps school the children he does the things that I just can’t bring myself to do he serves me, he exemplifies a Christlike service and I am more than blessed to have him. I thank God every day for the man he put in my life, for the man that saved my life, and the man who has given me a life.

Babe I know you’re going to read this hopefully by the time you do you’ll be home but I still have a full day and a half away from you and it’ll be filled with missing you. I love you and I hope you’re having a fabulous time with the kids and your parents you deserve this time.

*** please excuse any typos or places where it doesn’t make sense I’m trying to use speech to text because tears are streaming down my face****