Again it’s been a long while since I wrote. Writing seems like so much work. And I’m already writing a lot… I’ll share about that soon – I’m not ready to spill the beans just yet.
So what’s new? Not much. I have ups and downs. The up days are way fewer than the down days. I’m trying- most days. Some days trying is too hard. Some days just thinking about trying makes me exhausted.
I’m still seeing my counselor an hour a week, and going to Dialectical Behavioral Therapy 2 hours a week. We are getting ready to start inner child work, we’ve been trying to start for a couple of months but things keep “getting in the way”. Honestly, I think I might be avoiding…. I need to face this. I don’t think I’ll ever be ok if I don’t.
It’s been 83 days since I last scratched. I’ve been looking at my scars, they give me comfort in a way. They are small, but there, sharing my pain. I’ve picked up some other coping mechanisms like pulling my eyebrows, and not leaving my hair alone.
My OCD is smacking me in the face constantly- especially since cold and flu season is here now. I’ve been wiping my inside clothes down with disinfectant wipes if someone in the family touches me. It’s so damn frustrating.
I have more to say but maybe if I save it I’ll write again sooner… until next time.